15. Tamar Lewin, 'Sexual Abuse Tied to 1 in 4 Girls in Teens,' New York Times, October 1, 1997.

16. Lewin, 'Sexual Abuse Tied to 1 in 4 Girls.'

17. Nancy D. Kellogg, 'Unwanted and Illegal Sexual Experiences in Childhood and Adolescence,' Child Abuse and Neglect 19 (1995): 1457-68.

18. Not Just Another Thing to Do: Teens Talk about Sex, Regret, and the Influence of Their Parents (Washington, D.C.: National Campaign to Prevent Teen Pregnancy, 2000), 6-7.

19. 'Many Teens Regret Having Sex,' National Campaign to Prevent Teen Pregnancy, press release, June 30, 2000.

8. The Facts

1. Adam Phillips, 'The Interested Party,' The Beast in the Nursery (New York: Vintage Books, 1999), 3-36.

2. Janet R. Kahn, 'Speaking across Cultures within Your Own Family,' in Sexual Cultures and the Construction of Adolescent Identities, ed. Irvine, 287.

3. Brent C. Miller, Family Matters: A Research Synthesis of Family Influences on Adolescent Pregnancy (Washington, D.C: National Campaign to Prevent Teen Pregnancy, 1998), 6-12.

4. Diane Carman, in the Denver Post, March 2, 1999, posted on the Kaiser Family Foundation Web page.

5. Other good books were Changing Bodies, Changing Selves, for teens, by Ruth Bell and members of the Boston Women's Health Book Collective (New York: Vintage Books, 1988); Michael J. Basso, The Underground Guide to Teenage Sexuality (Minneapolis: Fairview Press, 1997); and for younger readers, It's Perfectly Normal: Changing Bodies, Growing Up, Sex, and Sexual Health, by Robie H. Harris with illustrations by Michael Emberley (Cambridge, Mass.: Candlewick Press, 1994).

6. Go Ask Alice! Columbia University's Health Question and Answer Internet Service, at www.goaskalice.columbia.edu.

7. www.positive.org/JustSayYes.

8. A search for this URL in June 2001 yielded an 'Object Not Found' message. However, sites for gay teens are proliferating.

9. Sex, Etc. can be accessed on the Internet at www.sxetc.org.

10. David Shpritz, 'One Teenager's Search for Sexual Health on the Net,' Journal of Sex Education and Therapy 22 (1998): 57.

11. Economics and Statistics Administration and National Telecommunications and Information Administration, 'Falling through the Net: Toward Digital Inclusion,' U.S. Department of Commerce report, Washington, D.C., October 2000, 2-12.

12. See chapter 1 for more discussion of legislated and voluntary Internet filtering.

13. Phillips, 'The Interested Party,' 14.

14. Stephen Holden, 'Hollywood, Sex, and a Sad Estrangement,' New York Times, May 3, 1998, 'Arts and Leisure,' 20.

15. Francesca Lia Block, Weetzie Bat, in Dangerous Angels (New York: HarperCollins, 1998), 29.

16. This insight, of course, must be attributed to the great art critic Leo Steinberg.

17. Journalist Debbie Nathan, ever-vigilant watchdog of cultural absurdity, reminds me that the soundtrack of the 1996 movie William Shakespeare's Romeo and Juliet was on the stereo when police arrived at the home of Kip Kinkel to find the dead bodies of his parents. The Springfield, Oregon, boy had just been arrested for the shooting deaths of two of his high school classmates and the wounding of twenty-five others. He is serving a life sentence for murder.

18. William Butler Yeats, 'Brown Penny,' in Selected Poems and Two Plays of William Butler Yeats, ed. M. L. Rosenthal (New York: Macmillan, 1962), 37.

9. What Is Wanting?

1. See, e.g., Barrie Thorne, Gender Play: Girls and Boys in School (New Brunswick, N.J.: Rutgers University Press, 1997); and R. W. Connell, Masculinities: Knowledge, Power, and Social Change (Los Angeles: University of California Press, 1995).

2. See Michael Reichert, 'On Behalf of Boys,' Independent School Magazine (spring 1997).

3. Males, Scapegoat Generation, 46. About 15 percent of tenth-grade students in a longitudinal survey reported fewer experiences of sexual intercourse than they'd claimed in the ninth grade, and of all the kids questioned over the years, two-thirds reported the age at first intercourse 'inconsistently.' Cheryl S. Alexander et al., 'Consistency of Adolescents' Self-Report of Sexual Behavior in a Longitudinal Study,' Journal of Youth and Adolescence 22 (1993): 455-71.

4. Susan Newcomer and J. Richard Udry, 'Adolescents' Honesty in a Survey of Sexual Behavior,' Journal of Adolescent Research 1, no. 3/4 (1988): 419-23.

5. 'Fact Sheet: Dating Violence among Adolescents,' Advocates for Youth (accessed at www.advocatesforyouth.org), Washington, D.C., n.d.

6. In Our Guys, Bernard Lefkowitz cites another relevant study: 'When the psychologist Chris O'Sullivan studied 24 documented cases of alleged gang rape on college campuses from 1981 to 1991, she found that it was the elite group at the colleges that were more likely to be involved. These included football and basketball players and members of prestigious fraternities.' Bernard Lefkowitz, Our Guys (New York: Vintage Books, 1998), 278-79.

7. A critique of quantitative desire disorders has been mounted by sociologist Janice Irvine, journalist Carol Tavris, sexologist Leonore Tiefer, and some others. Tiefer's sociopolitical perspective is rare in her discipline.

8. Social Security Act, Title V, Section 510 (1997), Maternal and Child Health Bureau, U.S. Department of Health and Human Services.

9. William A. Fisher and Deborah M. Roffman, 'Adolescence: A Risky Time,' Independent School 51 (spring 1992): 26.

10. Deborah Tolman, 'Daring to Desire,' in Sexual Cultures and the Construction of Adolescent Identities, ed. Irvine, 255.

11. Jack Morin, The Erotic Mind (New York: Harper Collins, 1995), 83-85.

12. Mary Pipher, Reviving Ophelia: Saving the Selves of Adolescent Girls (New York: Ballantine Books, 1994), 208.

13. Pipher, Reviving Ophelia, 205-13. These pages contain Lizzie's account, as described here and in the following paragraph.

14. Tolman, 'Daring to Desire,' 251.

15. This difficulty of putting emotions into words—what one writer called 'alyxrythmia'—has been all but naturalized as a masculine trait. (A good example of interpreting everything as biological, even when the description is clearly social, is 'Boys Will Be Boys,' Newsweek's cover story of May 11, 1998.) But there's plenty of evidence it is completely socialized. Janet R. Kahn interviewed 326 families in 1976 and again in 1983 and found that, across class and race, parents talked less often to their boys about fewer topics related to sexuality and relationships and that fathers talked with their kids far less than mothers. The situation was so serious for boys that she called it 'conversational neglect.' Kahn, 'Speaking across Cultures within Your Own Family.'

16. William Pollack, Real Boys: Rescuing Our Sons from the Myths of Boyhood (New York: Random House, 1998), 150-51.

17. Pollack, Real Boys, 151.

18. Susan E. Hickman and Charleen L. Muehlenhard, 'By the Semi-Mystical Appearance of a Condom: How Young Women and Men Communicate Sexual Consent,' paper presented at the Annual Meeting of the Society for the Scientific Study of Sex, Houston, Texas, November 1996.

19. Alwyn Cohall, speaking at a Planned Parenthood of New York conference, Adolescent Sexual Health: New Data and Implications for Services and Programs, October, 26, 1998. 20. Kaiser Family Foundation, 'National Survey